Well, where do we start with Dylan McGeouch? Our midfield maestro, born on a blisteringly cold day, 15 January 1993, puts him at a sturdy 31 years of age. A Scottish stalwart, the lad currently labours away at the coalface that is midfield for Carlisle United, displaying his, quite frankly, eye-catching skills in the central midfielder role. Standing 5ft 10in tall (or 1.78m for those with a penchant for the metric system), with a weight pushing the scales to a robust 10st 12lb (69kg), he proudly dons the number 21 jersey.
A spritely, young McGeouch made the daring leap from Rangers to Celtic back in July 2011 - an undisclosed fee, the details of which will forever remain shrouded in the annals of football mystery. With Celtic, McGeouch made an earth-shattering six first team appearances and scored a solitary goal in his debut season. Each subsequent season his contribution to Celtic gradually waned - or shall we say 'diluted' - culminating in a single first team appearance each year from 2013 to 2015.
In January 2014, hoping for greener pastures, our brave Scot, McGeouch, was shipped off like an unwanted holiday souvenir to Coventry City on loan. An eventful outing it was not, with only eight first team appearances to his name.
No sooner had he unpacked in Coventry, McGeouch was summoned back to Celtic like a prodigal son. Alas, it was apparent that the lure of the Premiership had lost its allure, as he yet again barely managed single-digit appearances for two more seasons.
In desperation, McGeouch sought pastures new with Hibernian, initially on loan. His career miraculously gained momentum with a handful of appearances and a couple of goal notches. Then, August 2015 saw the Scottish lad permanently signed to Hibernian for yet another undisclosed fee, a term we have now come to fondly associate with McGeouch's transfers. Then with Hibernian, the brave foot soldier contributed significant first team appearances for four league-seasons, racking up a heft tally of 35 appearances in the 2017 - 2018 season.
By July 2018, the Scottish Premiership was but a memory, as McGeouch traded it for Sunderland in the English Championship. Not one to stick around, he swapped the Black Cats for Aberdeen in the Premiership, again, for an 'undisclosed fee' in January 2020, and saw fluctuating appearances over three seasons.
Our protagonist, McGeouch, evidently tired of the Premiership drama, sought solace and started a new chapter with Forest Green Rovers in the National League in 2022. Then, the summer of 2023 found him moving again, this time to Carlisle United, where - letโs brace ourselves - he has had a total of three first team earthly appearances in the current season 2024 - 2025. His latest audacious feat includes his participation in the EFL Trophy 2024 - 2025 for Carlisle United, with what can only be lauded as one 'historic' start.
The phrase 'have boots, will travel' couldn't have been more apt for such a seasoned journeyman as Dylan McGeouch. One, I reckon, we will be talking about for seasons yet to come.