Enter one Coll Donaldson, a footballer you've probably looked over more times than your favourite tattie scone recipe. Born on 9 April 1995 in the rolling hills of Scotland, this 29-year-old hosts his weekly boot buffet at Falkirk - primarily as a central defender, a position he doubtlessly learned at the Sunday school of hard knocks. He clocks in at a respectable 6ft 2in (1.88m) and tips the scales at 12st 12lb (82kg). Currently, he sports the number 6 jersey and understands how to perform a task for one year and eight months. His contract will finally take a long-awaited leave come 31st May 2026.
Donaldson's stamp collection of clubs began in July 2012 when he joined Livingston. He spent two unimpressive seasons there, managing a lukewarm 24 appearances and contributing to the scoresheet once, proving that luck doesn’t forever favour the brave.
In January 2014, he was ferreted south to Queens Park Rangers for a fee so embarrassing it still brings a tear to the eye (£150k). He spent more time warming the bench than playing on the field, making a solitary league appearance. Oh, the trips one would make for a less than sparkling career.
In July 2015, he hiked his way back to the dear, bracing Scottish air joining Dundee United. His time there was filled with many, dare I say, groggy performances totalling 32 league matches in his two-season stint.
Perhaps yearning for smaller pastures, Donaldson meandered to Inverness CT in August 2017 - a move that seems rather pointless looking back now. However, he did manage to maintain a steady presence on the pitch through 16 league matches during the 2017 - 2018 season.
In January 2020, Donaldson summoned his inner nomad again and transferred to Ross County. The details of the deal were so confidential; even the Norse gods wouldn't dare whisper it. In the Ross County jersey, he played a total of 37 league games across three seasons, managing to net the ball only once.
Dusting off his travelling boots, Donaldson went on loan to Dunfermline Athletic in January 2022 and returned to Ross County upon completion of his loan in June 2022, thus doubling his tour of Scottish clubs. Most likely to collect match-day pies in my opinion. Nevertheless, his return to Ross County was less eventful, reeling in 37 appearances across three seasons.
Always the passerby, Donaldson took his talents to Falkirk in July 2022 where he currently resides. Having made 29 appearances and scored a single goal across a season and a bit, suggesting a potential increase in his contributions to the team's offensive play. Well, a man can dream, can't he? The lad has even turned up in the 2024-2025 League Cup with three starts and the 2023-2024 Scottish Cup with one start.
So there you have it. Donaldson’s football expedition: a rollercoaster ride filled with more twists and turns than a Glaswegian taxi driver trying to avoid potholes.
