Thrill-seekers, close your browsers, for we look into the seemingly-less-thrilling life-story of Rıdvan Yılmaz, a Turkish marvel born on the 21st of May, 2001 (aged 23 for those who aren't quick at maths) who – in an utterly preposterous twist of fate – ended up playing football. The lad is a defender, hence not burdened by the glitz and glamour of goal-scoring, playing left back for the Rangers. Exuding all the stature and physical dominance of a wet Monday afternoon in Glasgow, he stands at 5ft 8in (1.74m for the metrically inclined) and weighs 10st 7lb (or 67kg). In a touching tribute to his favourite Counting Crows song, he dons the number 3 jersey.
In a startling display of loyalty or unjustified optimism, young Yılmaz committed his formative years to Besiktas in the Turkish Süper Lig. He joined them as a trainee in 2009, most likely dreaming of sandwiches and first team appearances. His wish was granted (well, the latter at least) albeit in a rather stingy fashion - one appearance in the entire 2018-2019 season, counting towards his 52 first team appearances in total for the Turkish side, punctuated with the odd goal here and there to awaken the fans from their defensive-induced stupor.
In July 2022, a move that would no doubt stun the fans who actually remembered his name, he was transferred from Besiktas to Rangers, a Scottish club with a less than sun-drenched training ground. The fee, £5.3m, is the sort of figure that could buy one a lovely semi-detached in most London boroughs, or in Glasgow, half the city. During his tenure at Rangers, he's made quite the metaphorical splash, 45 first team appearances and a goal to remind us he still knows where the net is, as of 2024 - 2025 season.
Yılmaz has also sampled a soupçon of European football, with the odd appearance in the League Cup, Europa League, Champions League Qualifiers, probably a charity cricket match they had to make up the numbers for and so. In summary, if consistency, commitment and the ability to resist the lure of kebabs are traits to be measured, Rıdvan Yılmaz stands as tall as his 5ft 8in frame allows. He may not be the most exciting biography subject, but he's no doubt a heartthrob for the clerks at the Turkish department of work and pensions.
