Well, it appears we need to talk about Robin Pröpper. I'll do my best not to weep with sheer exhilaration. Quite a lad this one, for a man doomed to a life of obscurity in the lowlands of Netherlands, he’s carved out quite the unremarkable career. Born 23 September 1993, Pröpper now weighs 83kg (13st) and scares opponents with his towering height of 1.92m (6ft 3in). Nothing to scoff at, unless you’re a basketball player. These days he kicks a ball around for Rangers, sporting the number 4 jersey, although without any stints at the hallowed grounds of Paradise Park, his career can only be considered a half-hearted enterprise.
According to Transfermarkt (source), our 'critical' defender is worth a staggering £2m. In football terms that’s akin to finding loose change in the couch, but who am I to quibble the vanities of modern football valuation?
In the jolly summer of 2011, Pröpper signed his potential away to De Graafschap in the Eerste Divisie in Netherlands. Here, he slogged for several seasons, doing a remarkable job at scoring an extraordinary pair of goals per season, with a fair number of appearances thrown in between 2012 and 2016.
Next, the errant Dutchman trekked to Heracles Almelo for a frolic in the Dutch Eredivisie. Proving his unfaltering consistency, he reprised his two-goal-a-season act in the 2017 season, dare we say, even gracing the pitch 30 times in the 2020 season and scoring a solitary goal to cap off a majestic campaign.
In 2021, our patient wanderer was swept up by FC Twente. Ever the charmer, Pröpper enjoyed a goal-filled romp with 13 strikes across three seasons before being lured away by the tartan allure of the Scottish Premiership.
In August 2024, Pröpper shrugged off Eredivisie and its tulip-dotted pastures to hobnob with highlanders at Rangers for an estimated loot of £1.5m. It's here in the current 2024-2025 season, he has notched up 14 appearances with a single goal. In between, he’s found time to participate in several other football competitions such as the League Cup, the Champions League Qualifiers, and the Europa League. Apparently, sitting on substitute benches was also part of the grand plan.
If there's any consolation, his journey makes for a colourful dot-to-dot sketch of lower-tier football. One can't exactly say it was fraught with missed tendencies or jet-fuelled hype. It was, in essence, an average march through the muddy lanes of football, carried out with a dutiful monotony that is Pröpper's brand hallmark.
